🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?